Off for 2 weeks!

[Grumpy]

The other day I staggered into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around my throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks me what happened.
"Well, it was like this," I said. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was looking around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it-- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt."
"That's when I made my big mistake."
"What did you do?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the cow's tail again and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"

"I don't remember much after that!"