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Sounds nasty.
In Windows Explorer, have you tried right-clicking on your cd-rom's icon then selecting 'eject'?
Also, is there a tiny hold near the eject button on your cd-rom? You can insert a long, thin object into this hole to eject the disc. Caution: you're only really supposed use this hole when your computer is turned off - hence if a disc is spinning up you can very easily damage the underneath; use with extreme caution.
Seems strange how the software you're referning to can have such an affect on your hardware.
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