@tontosmudflap
The reason 4x does not show up for you is probably because either you DVD burner does not support 4x or the discs themselves are only 2x. Burning at 2x wont be the issue, the slower the better.
Now the problem with the discs not being read in the DVD player may be because the player does not like the brand of disc? Have you played any copied movies (regardless of the brand) in the player before?
But it is unusual it does not play in your PC?
Are you sure, in Nero, that you placed 'all' the files into the 'Video_TS' folder?
All files must go into that Video_TS folder!
Also what program are you using in your PC to view the DVD? I use WinDVD 7 only because its the program I currently have installed.
But most (if not all) of the popular DVD player programs should be able to play the DVD, after all it is only a DVD but with the region code and the protection removed.
I could suggest another way to burn the disc but I want to just re-check the method first, then I will get back to you on it.