Damned Subscriptions.
 

How in the hell can I make this forum stop autosubscribing me to posts I respond to?

If you are talking about getting a e-mail sent to you everytime someone replies to a thread that you have posted in....

Just click on the "user cp" button at the top of the screen, then click on "edit options", then scroll down to where you see "use e-mail notification by default" and change it to NO.....Then save changes....