Grumpy
26-01-2006, 06:41
In light of this (http://fileforums.com/showthread.php?t=75151) post, I thought I would share some absolute Classic comments with you all!! :p
Here are a few genuine conversations with Call Centres and Help Desks:
1.
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't know who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the User Guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the power socket and telephone jack before cleaning.
Operator: "I think that means the telephone point on the wall".
2.
Computer Company 1
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Now do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up to this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I’ve written 'click'".
3. (This one is the Classic of Classics!!!)
Computer Company 2
(Actual dialogue from the Word Perfect Helpline, recorded in the Customer Care dept.)
Operator: “Computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, I'm having trouble with my WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing and all of a sudden the words just went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light to tell you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, could you look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cable goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Now follow the cable to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall”.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were looking behind the monitor, were there two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Caller: "I don’t know."
Operator: "Well, there should be. I need you to look there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Now follow it and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe lean on something and look over it?"
Caller: "No, I can’t see, because it's dark."
Operator: "It’s dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because we’ve got a power cut."
Operator: "A power... a power cut? Aha, Okay, now we've got it licked. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Caller: "Well, yes, they’re in the cupboard."
Operator: "Good. Go and get them, and unplug your system and pack it all up, just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad? What do I tell them?”
Operator: "Tell them you're too naffing stupid to own a computer !”
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Now we could call them Drizzies!!!
If anyone else has any other 'Drizzies', just like these ones, then please share them with us.
I dont want quotes taken from these forums as that has been done before!
Have fun :D
Here are a few genuine conversations with Call Centres and Help Desks:
1.
Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't know who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the User Guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the power socket and telephone jack before cleaning.
Operator: "I think that means the telephone point on the wall".
2.
Computer Company 1
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Now do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up to this point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I’ve written 'click'".
3. (This one is the Classic of Classics!!!)
Computer Company 2
(Actual dialogue from the Word Perfect Helpline, recorded in the Customer Care dept.)
Operator: “Computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, I'm having trouble with my WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing and all of a sudden the words just went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light to tell you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, could you look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cable goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Now follow the cable to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall”.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were looking behind the monitor, were there two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Caller: "I don’t know."
Operator: "Well, there should be. I need you to look there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Now follow it and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe lean on something and look over it?"
Caller: "No, I can’t see, because it's dark."
Operator: "It’s dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because we’ve got a power cut."
Operator: "A power... a power cut? Aha, Okay, now we've got it licked. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Caller: "Well, yes, they’re in the cupboard."
Operator: "Good. Go and get them, and unplug your system and pack it all up, just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad? What do I tell them?”
Operator: "Tell them you're too naffing stupid to own a computer !”
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Now we could call them Drizzies!!!
If anyone else has any other 'Drizzies', just like these ones, then please share them with us.
I dont want quotes taken from these forums as that has been done before!
Have fun :D